DIY: Camping

There are two people on this earth, people who get high off of drinking their own piss and hunting bears and then the people who huddle with their computers in an air conditioned room. We are the latter. But this past weekend we roughed it Bear-Grylls style and slept outside. Well to be honest we went inside at 2 am because it started to rain (helpful tip check the weather before you go camping). But hey, we tried, and now I'm here to show you how to camp in style.

Step 1. Pick a site- if you're a novice you probably shouldn't be venturing out into Yellowstone so how about you do the park rangers a service and start out in your own backyard or a friend who has a rustic backyard as our friend, Jeez Neon, has pictured here:

Step 2. Set up tent, make playlist (see previous posts if lost)- contact everyone you know to see if they have a tent because they can get a little pricey, if no one does your local sporting goods store most likely rents them out for the weekend at a descent price. I suggest picking one that has plenty of room for your friends and has a mesh roof so you can jam out to some funky beats and look at the stars.

this might be a little pricey but look how friggen cool this is!! I promise no manbearpig will mess with you while your chillin in this hot rod.

watch nature as you clutch your blanket in fear of an aerial attack!

Step 3. Ration your food- you may be hungry later on so make sure to collect snacks, I'm sure any berry is fine (this is Vinyl View's lawyer Dave, a friendly reminder that some berries result in death so may sure you know what you put into your mouth) Ha ha oh Dave, he is a jokester. We got these blackberries from a garden conveniently located behind the tent

Dave has no idea what he is talking about these look plenty safe to me

Step 4. Let's burn down this m**********r!!!- Wow there Pyromaniac Phil, let's heed Smokey Bear advice and not burn down our local forests. I suggest borrowing/buying/stealing a small iron fire pit. To get it started, crumple newspapers and put them on the bottom while you layer the twigs tepee styled, light the newspapers first. for best results bring hot dogs and marshmallows to cook, very romantic.

these jokers didn't do the tepee way and eventually went on to kill 2 bunnies and 5 small lizards-those monsters

ughhh foodgasm

Step 5. Bring a lot of layers because it gets cold as Siberia in that bitch and unless you're a vodka lovin, bald Russian named Vladmir, I don't think you'll enjoy that. Enjoy you're camping trip and remember, three leaves leave it be! (I cannot stress this enough)