What We Thought We Already Knew

It was because we were allowed to convert religions and dye our own hair that we felt old

old in the sense that we were free, independent, and rightfully so we could become someone so different from who we had been the day before

the sequence of events that created an angsty period of our short lives called high school became nights spent watching lolita

or cursing loudly with passion in our eyes regarding a book about teenage suicide and the virgins who fled their Catholic parents before they tasted alcohol

We felt a temporary fix of adulthood, idolizing dead men whose synth was the soundtrack to our adolescence 

we thought we knew things about people and what it meant to love

a romantic hormonal pessimist will never understand the deepest definition of love until she is there, in that moment of final admiration

otherwise said hormonal optimist teen will fall in love everyday on public transport or in the safety of her bedroom, watching strangers walk on the sidewalk, each of those people leaving her with a glimpse of a life on some faraway planet, exsisting only in the crevaces of her mind, she wrote their stories threaded together by lies

we were old because we knew that people could feel shitty and darkness comes quickly sometimes leaving you breathless or making you want to vomit or sing or preach or cry or dance or laugh half heartedly at misfortune

and when we watch men of great stature falling from great heights because of some kind of addiction

we recognize the face of repression

and the paradox of humanity

we read to escape suburbia and to find solace

we are nocturnals, insomniacs without a reason to dream because we thought we knew reality

just because you wear black doesn't mean you know life has given you the worst its got

just because you say something you heard on the news doesn't mean you know more than the common man

just because you can carve your name into a tree that will grow to be a 100 doesn't mean you will leave legends

and just because you declare yourself an original doesn't mean you have had a thought of your own

little girl, this is a cruel world and your tongue hasn't tasted ignorance 

little girl you know but one thing, humans are complex creatures and those who claim to know Gods secrets

are lying, convinced themselves blind and power hungry leaches

there is no hell, little girl, I am a walking paradox

but if we learn to forgive

he who is almighty must forgive

otherwise he shall be a hypocrite like me

otherwise he would be a human

we thought we were old because we were simply alive and doing things on impulse and doing things with a few more years in our back pockets

nobody knows what we had thought we knew

-Ember Nocturne

Auroras and Solar Wind by Zoe Jensen

One day
We will shoot up to the stars
Fast
Quickly
Beautifully
Inches away from a plate-sized star
Our faces glow from the bright light
And for three seconds

Everything is still

But those three seconds pass
And the pull of the star slowly fades
We grab each other’s hands, falling backwards towards 
Earth
Wind in our hair
Smiles on our faces
Somehow your eyelids seem amazing

God, Allah, Buddha places us like glass figures
Onto a dim, grassy field
Hands entwined 
We are happy

Where The Leaves Fall: An Autumn Mixtape (illustrated by Jessica Dantas)

1. And If We Both Fail? // Mixtapes 

2. Past Lives // Diiv

3. Black Comedy // Bright Eyes

4. Le Temps de L'amour // Francoise Hardy

5. Carnation // IO Echo

6. Ungirthed // Purity Ring

7. Misguided Ghosts // Paramore

8. Piazza, New York Catcher // Belle & Sebastian

9. First Day of My Life // Bright Eyes

10. Playing God // Paramore

11. Oxford Comma // Vampire Weekend

12. Tainted Love // Soft Cell

13. The Ghost Inside // Broken Bells

14. Blah Blah Blah // Say Hi To Your Mom

15. I'm Writing a Novel // Father John Misty

16. Horchata // Vampire Weekend

17. Dead Hearts // Stars

18. Everything You Wanted // Clubfeet

19. Dear Fellow Traveler // Sea Wolf

20. Get What You Want // JJAMZ

21. Fidelity // Regina Spektor

22. San Francisco // Foxygen

23. Full Moon // The Black Ghosts

24. Heartbreak // Clubfeet

25. Run // Vampire Weekend

26. Sweater Weather // The Neighbourhood

27. Thunder // Gold Fields

28. By Surprise // Gemini Club

29. Here // Hellogoodbye

30. Magic // Olympic Ayres

31. Bruises // Chairlift

32. I Sold My Bed, But Not My Stereo // Capital Cities

33.  Falling // Ben Kweller

34. Two Weeks // Grizzly Bear

35. Critical Mass // College

36. Animal // Miike Snow

37. Thirteen // Ben Kweller

38. Miss Halfway // Anya Marina

39. At Home ( Passion Pit Remix) // Crystal Fighters

40. Lights & Music // Cut Copy

41. It's Not Over // Panama

42. Spirit // Delorean

43. Lola // The Kinks

44. Leaves in The River // Sea Wolf

45. Skeletons // Yeah Yeah Yeahs

46. Age of Consent // New Order

47. Chicago // Sufjan Stevens

48. Harvest Moon // Poolside

49. Daydream // Youth Lagoon

50. Midnight City // M83 

-Ember Nocturne

Surreal Art Featured Below By: Ember Nocturne

Untitled for Now by Jessica Dantas

A Playlist Based on Quirky Activities

1. Watch The Breakfast Club whilst wearing a hat crafted from newspaper and fancy socks.
                        LISTEN: SHOOTING STARS BY BAG RAIDERS
2. Make a smoothie using only things you already have in a matter of 30 seconds, there must be more than 3 ingredients and you have to have a floral print of some sort on.
                        LISTEN: MIDNIGHT CITY BY M83
3. Print off album covers and tape them all over your bedroom walls, you can also get a map and pin out all the places you have been!
                        LISTEN: KIDS BY MGMT
4. Collage photos of your favorite childhood tv shows (Full House Anyone?), 80's movies (Clueless, Heathers, National Lampoons Christmas Vacation, etc.), and of course some kick ass artwork (Starry Night, Kate Shaw Edits, etc.).
                       LISTEN: D.A.N.C.E BY JUSTICE
5. Press some flowers you can find around the yard or make a crown from them.
                       LISTEN: ANNA SUN BY WALK THE MOON
6. Write stuff, and tea stain the page but don't forget to enjoy the tea.
                       LISTEN: MAGIC BY THE KNOCKS
7. Realize you have a crush on your candles and watch the stars all between the hours of 11 P.M. to Midnight.
                       LISTEN: CATGROOVE BY PAROV STELAR
8. Braid your hair like Wednesday Addams and paint your nails dark plum.
                       LISTEN: HEADS WILL ROLL BY YEAH YEAH YEAHS
9. Go to a flea market while wearing tights of some sort.
                       LISTEN: BLUE MONDAY BY NEW ORDER
10. Go apple picking because autumn is the best season and be sure to wear an oversized sweater.
                       LISTEN: ROCK ME AMADEUS BY FALCO
11. Dance around your house wearing an oversized flannel and some high socks, be sure to slide down hallways.
                       LISTEN: US BY REGINA SPEKTOR
12. Go to your local library and grab a random book and movie, with your eyes closed.
                       LISTEN: WHERE U GOIN BY ARKELLS
13. Explore your surroundings, go down random streets, people watch and come up with their stories.
                       LISTEN: BEATFREAKZ- SOMEBODYS WATCHING ME (HIGH TRACK REMIX)
14. Read your horoscope and take the myers briggs personality test (I am a cancer and enfj).
                       LISTEN: THE WAY WE GET BY BY SPOON
15. Look through old family photos.
                       LISTEN: THE BOY WITHT THE ARAB STRAP BY BELLE & SEBASTIAN
16. Put together an outfit you think Zooey Deschanel would wear and watch 500 Days of Summer (Gubloids hail his scenes).
                       LISTEN: NEW THEORY BY WASHED OUT
17. If you happen to have a cat, dog, gerbil, imaginary friend do some interpretive dance.
                       LISTEN: MODERN LOVE BY DAVID BOWIE
18. Take some photos using texture and perspective and edit using surrealism inspiration.
                       LISTEN: PRIDE BY THE NEW DIVISION
19. Sketch something, anything in a public place so people think you have talent.
                       LISTEN: WALKING ON A DREAM BY EMPIRE IN THE SUN
20. Look through old yearbooks and make predictions while wearing a nice pair of shoes.
                       LISTEN: YOUR LOVE BY THE OUTFIELD
21. Read a book for a second time you loved and underline what you relate to.
                       LISTEN: THIS RYTHM BY THE FILTHY DUKES

-Ember Nocturne